Monday, December 20, 2010


you're relaxed and it's so good, you yawn... once, no biggie... okay now twice... aaand now that makes about 24 yawns, but you're fighting it, cause it's only 8:43 pm and your only twenty something... but seriously your dainty and delicate tired eyelids feel like they are bench pressing elephants, unsuccessfully (one extra large elephant per eyelid=2 extra large elephants), and you're in the middle of catching up on almost two months worth of your favorite DVR'd TV shows like 30 rock and friday night lights and parenthood, but it just feels so darn great to just give in and.... zzzz.... doze off and before you know it you've completely fallen into a deep REM snorey kind of sleep on the boxy couch downstairs that looks fantastic but is about as comfortable as plywood , then you wake up hours later without a clue of where you are, and who cares really... you begin to doze off again when you realize that you really have go tinkle (yes I think I just said tinkle) and that really bums you out a whole lot cause you are physically unable to move your arms and legs, but if you don't get up there is going to be probs, and then you get a friendly little tap on the shoulder by your Dave or your mom or someone, and they remind you that you should probably get up and relocate to your bed, and you mumble in what almost sounds like another language "I know just give me a minute... just resting my eyes" and they keep waking you up what feels like every 3 seconds to just remind you again, and again and again... and again that you should really get up this time and just go to bed, and you kinda want to punch 'em in the face a little bit, but in a really loving and nice way cause you like them a lot, but they just don't understand that you're just so stinkin' tired and have a real low tolerance for pretty much any and all of it. You might as well be a big grouchy grizzly bear just trying to simply hibernate in the middle of the winter. And it is in this moment that you desperately wish you had the super power or some jetson style button that you press and it magically empties your bladder and teleports you from the couch to your cozy bed under the covers. I don't know about you, but I don't have one of those buttons, and that becomes another irritation and irrational thought process, "why in the world do I not have such button, I need that button, maybe I could make one?". So with all the motivation that you can muster, drag yourself to the bathroom, this is so hard, why is it so hard, and then one leg and one step at a time you make your way up to what feels like the stairs to eternity and into your bedroom where you collapse and face plant into your bed, and you're so tired that you definitely didn't have it in you to brush your teeth or wash your face and, you're gross, you even contemplate going to bed with your shoes and socks on, you just can't handle it, you can't deal with this nonsense... it's just too much. And then with your very lastest sliver of energy, you fling over to turn off the lamp, it is dark, but you forgot to turn on the fan and it's hot and you'll wake up in the sonoran desert or a pool of your own sweat, oh man, you can do it, you can get up and turn it on, you make the 3 ft trek to the switch, you flip it, and then ... your head finally hits that plush pillow....

and you're wide awake until probably 5:03 am.

I don't like it.


  1. Brooke, I thought you were perfect. Now I find out that you Tinkle. Or should that be twinkle (like a shining star) :)

  2. I totally hate when that happens!

  3. Very relatable! Or how about when it's 8:00 and you feel super exhausted, you can't wait until you can crawl under your covers and fall asleep, except you have a problem. You recently became addicted to Animal Planet and you've been anxiously awaiting the newest episode of Pitbulls and Parolees all day, except it doesn't come on until 10. So you force yourself to stay awake and finally.... You Made It! Woo Hoo! So it's now 11 and you can finally go to sleep, but something unexpected has happened... you're wide awake. It is now 2am and you think you might be able to fall asleep. You were wrong. You lay there until you finally fall
    asleep about 3:30-ish and it is wonderful. Then your bratty cat named Isabella decides she wants to go outside to do who knows what at 6am. She decides out
    of everybody in the house she wants to come into your room and meow. She
    definitely doesn't care that you just fell asleep not all that long ago. So you drag
    yourself out of bed to let out the cat. As you walk back up the stairs your golden
    retriever jumps on you and almost knocks you down, then your fat, chubby cat
    named gizmo tries to trip you. You ignore them, actually consider packing their little bags and shipping them off somewhere, and crawl back in bed, only to be
    wide awake again.

    Okay, maybe this scenario just applies to me haha.

  4. Hahaha! I like it. You're so great at adding details! You should write a book!