Monday, February 4, 2013

JUST ANOTHER MUSIC MONDAY: FIRE & RAIN

Well hello...

I've got so much I've got to tell you. A whole lot of blog posts just stock piling in the noggin, but not much time, or gumption to let them find their way out. I will spare you the blah blah blah about how 2012 was really hard, and how 2013 was all about starting over and going to be the most triumphant year ever...  and then there was the flooding of the kitchen, a flat tire on the way back to California, a traumatic trip to the ER with a monster of a kidney stone, the cold and the hacking cough, the flu and all it's goobers and snot (sorry, keep reading, it get's better), and now the Loo has had four scary days of fevers over 104 and a double dose of ear infections. I know, "cry me a river", "could be worse", "so much to be grateful for", but it seems to be one thing after another for many many moons now... 

That all being said, there seems to be silver linings all along the way, or maybe I just have to believe that, and be that kind of girl, the kind that always must find a reason, a lesson and wrap the crap up in a beautiful bow. But hey, it's only February, I'm still holding out hope, there is still time! Surely there is something to be learned from trial and pain... I think. No, I know...

Gosh I hope I'm learning. 

And yet amongst the darkness and shadow is this incredible beaming light that shines through... that light being my lil' London June. She sparkles so brightly, illuminating our path and truly showing us the way. She makes even the crappiest days seem simultaneously the happiest. Thank the good Lord for a baby.

Like I told you, so many blog posts. I'd love to give them a life eventually... 

Honestly, I'd really like to spend more time here, on the blog, writing about things that matter. Because I've recently come to a strong realization, perhaps even a revelation; and seeing as I've been writing songs for nearly a decade now, it may seem obvious, but... may I be so bold to declare, I am a writer. And when I say that, I don't mean, I'm a Grammar technician (you've probably gathered that with all my run on sentences and dot dot dots), a novelist or a poet. But I have stories to tell, a lot of them. Hmmm, On second thought, maybe scratch the "writer" bit, and may I exchange that title for that of,  a story teller. A teller of true stories for the most part, and therein lies the problem, or challenge. I suppose I have held off writing many of these stories because I am trying to sort out my boundaries, what to say and how to say it and why I'm saying it, and what I will keep locked up in the sacred chamber. Which stories are mine to tell, and which stories also belong to the characters with in it, and they are more then mere characters, but real people, who I feel necessary to respect and protect. However, as one who is constantly striving and or tortured with being a perpetuator of truth, I yearn to give my most authentic self, and paint a picture of an honest life, with all it's roses and thorns. But like unto my great social media addiction, Instagram, sometimes we must put a filter on it. 

So until I've got it all that serious shtuff figured out, I thought I'd simply sing you songs. One of those posts will be about the music, and where it is going... I don't have that answer yet. But I have music, it is still rushing through my veins like blood. It sustains me and keeps me alive. And I've got an iphone camera...

Every Monday I am going to post a song here on the blog, and it shall be called "JUST ANOTHER MUSIC MONDAY". Sometimes it will be an original, something I'm working on, and sometimes it will be something someone else has written, or something that is tried and true. There may even be some guests joining me. Today, I am playing for you "fire and rain", a song by one of my most beloved artists, James Taylor. His humble voice is like a warm blanket, a dear friend, offering me comfort and sustenance along the journey.

Just a few days into the new year, I had the rare experience of taking a shower by myself. Now allow me to explain, I usually put my big baby girl in her tiny tub and stick her in the shower with me and that is how I manage to keep the both of us clean. But one evening Dave the dad suggested she watch the game with him while I shower solo. I set up my ipod doc and plugged in my old iphone. There wasn't a hesitation about what to listen to. I scrolled down to the J's and landed on my trusty 'ol JT. Greatest Hit's number one would be my selection. As I stood in the shower and let the hot water hit my tired head that housed my burnt out brain, I just stood there as the first few picks on the guitar of "Something in the way she moved" played and eased every last uneasy part of me and stressful thought. I sang along with my eyes closed. I didn't wash my hair, or shave my legs, I just stood there and sang every song from something in the way she moves to steam roller blues. But it was during "Fire and Rain" that I sang out from the depths, tearfully and loudly, as if I owned it, as if I wrote it, as if it was my story. In that moment, Fire and Rain was there for me in a way that almost nothing or no one could be. The moment was a gift from God. I know James Taylor paid a high price for fire and rain, but how grateful I was, how grateful I am, to him for paying it. 

And with that, I give you a much humbler version, at the piano, not in the shower. Please forgive my super elementary editing skills,  this video has got beginner written all over it, with format issues galore, couldn't figure out how to fix it, but nonetheless I feel like I'm gonna show it to you anyway :)






18 comments:

  1. saying a prayer for you today. :)

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  2. Felt that! Very nice. James feels like an old friend.

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  3. This is beautiful Brooke. Gives me chills. You are so talented! xo

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  4. So soulful and beautiful. Thanks for sharing it with us, Brooke.

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  5. So therapeutic and beautiful. Hang in there!

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  6. perfect way to add a little something beautiful to the dreaded mondays, you're so special and talented Brooke! I love how raw and true you have remained since the start of your career and, as always, your voice is amazing. God Bless!

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  7. You are such an artist, Brooke. You paint a new masterpiece with each song you sing. Beautiful work here. Thanks for sharing.

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  8. I love that you write. I hope you find a safe place that allows you to write the stuff that has to be filtered. I grab a composition notebook for that, but it isn't as legible as typing on the keyboard of my computer. I am pretty honest on my blog about some stuff, but it's nice to write all of my thoughts in my journal. Sometimes I just type in word because I love how fast it is rather than writing, then I save it.
    When I was really steeped in depression I learned to not exaggerate my feelings as I wrote because I wanted it to be truthful, which in turn helped me not feel so overwhelmed and to see things as they really were. It was my therapy. It pulled me through some hard times and helped me to re-connect to the spirit because I wasn't allowing my thoughts to become too dark and hopeless.
    Anyway, I get how wonderful writing can be, and how confusing it can be to have this stuff and not know where to put it sometimes. I also get crying in the shower- it is the most private place after you have kids, and even then it's hit and miss :) And sometimes I miss just being able to throw them in the shower with me, back when they had less hair to wash, that didn't need conditioner... so combing it didn't end in shrieks of pain, even if there isn't any real pain... :)
    By the way, it's okay to say things are hard, because it is hard sometimes! Hope 2013 gets easier!

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  9. You have been my favorite ever since I saw your AI audition. I love hearing you sing. Best wishes to you and your beautiful family!

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  10. Beautiful singing. I love that song and I love JT, and I love you too! :) I hope little Loo gets better soon.

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  11. Great job, Brookie. That being said, my favorite part is hearing Little Miss Loo in the background. Sure wish we could meet her in real life!!

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  12. Brooke,
    Thanks for sharing your genius with the world! Absolutely beautiful -- the words you wrote, the words JT wrote, and your lovely singing.

    Denise

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  13. So beautiful Brooke - thanks for sharing. This song makes me cry every time too. You are always a ray of light for the rest of us so today I am sending you all of my positive and healing energy.

    I know you'll get through the tough times, learn all the right lessons and come out even stronger than you are now.

    Sending love, prayers and hugs to you and baby Loo. xo

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  15. Sadly, I wasn't introduced to James Taylor until I met my hubby. I have to admit that at first I wasn't sold. When we take road trips now, he is the first I play and he has found comfort and reassurance in my soul as well. He's so warm and sings from the heart, just like you my lovely friend. Thank you for sharing as always! You are truly remarkable and I'd love to hear Brooke the storyteller any time. You've always had a wonderful way of words. Much love to you and good thoughts for a better February! :)

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  16. Wonderful cover of Fire and Rain! Thanks for sharing and for your heartfelt and honest blogging--so cool. Your first and loyal fan since day one on Idol... I connected with you immediately and I will always support you. Susie B.

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  17. You are so stinkin' talented Brooke, as are all of the Whites. I really mean it when I say that I get so excited when I see that you've posted something new for us to enjoy. I genuinely love your whimsical style of writing. It feels as if you're just chatting with me in the same room. I hope you keep up this Music Monday idea, I think it's great. Love you!

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  18. i love love love this post for so many reasons that I'm sure you know :) Proud of you friend! xoxo

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