Tuesday, February 19, 2013

JUST ANOTHER MUSIC MONDAY: POOR LITTLE FOOL...

i'm sorry. 

Feeling a little defeated as I type this and I don't think I have the energy to articulate why... and there is a giant mosquito hawk flying around my computer scarin' the crap out of me. I know he's harmless, and I don't want him to die, I just want him to go hang out in the living room. 

Basically, I'm tired of being late... 

I can't catch up, it's been this way for like fifteen years, or I don't know, maybe twenty nine...  I want to change, and I don't know how, and I am trying. In the words of what about Bob "i'm doing the work I'm not a slacker". But I'm slow, and I care too much about too much, indecisive and a tortured perfectionist working with a great deal of imperfection. Really, It's okay, but it's not, and this isn't a woe is me post. I'm just sayin'...

All of you decisive efficient people that are always on time, teach me, what is your secret?

I know I said I was going to post a Valentines Day song, but I thought Valentines was Friday, and I had been working on "close to you" by The Carpenters all week. It is not an easy song, and I wanted to do it really right, because it's Karen, and it's basically sacred. Then it turns out that Valentines Day was actually Thursday, and because life was serving me a Thanksgiving feast on a salad plate, I just wasn't ready for that. Incidentally, I was wearing my red hello sweatshirt which I have worn for nearly five days straight, and so I put a heart onesie on London and thanks to Summer, pulled off a cute instagram (see below). Dave came home from work with Valentines in hand for me and the Loo, sheepishly, I told him that Valentines was just going to have to be on Friday, like I planned.  I had a small thoughtful gift, the card but not a second to wrap it, or write it. But I couldn't even pull off Friday... Friday turned into Saturday.



Kinda like how Just another music monday has yet again turned into Tuesday... okay, almost Wednesday.  So I thought I would do "Close to you" for this week, but when I sat down at the piano on Sunday, my fingers didn't want to play it, my voice didn't want to sing it. Like I said, Mediocrity just isn't an option when it comes to the Carpenters.

It was Sunday, and probably one of the most perfect days that a February has ever seen. Dave suggested we head down to the beach. So we bundled up the Loo, grabbed the beach blanket and my guitar and headed on through the canyon to Malibu. We found a little spot on the sand, the tide was high but the ocean breeze was truly euphoric (it took me like ten minutes to find that word in my mind file) We walked London out to the water and put her toes in the sand and she let out some unbelievable giggles, ahhh, finally, a moment of pure contentment... Thank you Lord! I pulled out my guitar and thought maybe I would figure something out. Then I realized I forgot my capo at home (a capo is this small contraption that you clamp onto the neck of the guitar to change the key) and so I sat around and tried to figure out a tune in my key. I stumbled onto "don't panic" a vintage Coldplay classic. So just as the golden hour struck and the sun was setting over the sea I thought maybe I could capture the moment and sing "we live in a beautiful world" right in front of the pacific ocean. However, Londy's sweet pumpkin giggles turned to pterodactyl screams and she was ready to go, but I figured that there was no better scene then this for "just another music monday" so we got her set up on the blanket with a toy to chew on and put "whats the drawback" on my phone, it's her favorite song.

Dave manned the iphone camera, (as he has been doing for the last two videos, his camera skillz vastly improve week to week, he's becoming a pro, way to go Dave!) I started out my usual little intro, and started playing "bones sinking like stones, all that we fall for" when I looked over to see london rolled off the blanket with a handful of sand that she was shoveling into her mouth... so that was the end of that! I ran over and grabbed a wipee and tried to stop her, but she was hell bent on eating sand, so she did. There is a bit of footage of the whole fiasco, maybe you'll see it.

So yesterday was Presidents day, and I had yet to record a tune. I decided maybe I would try "God only knows". My favorite beach boys tune, and one of my favorite songs of all time. It was the song I sang during Hollywood week, that solidified my fate into the Top 50, and ultimately the Top 24. The publishing however was not cleared for TV, therefore no one ever saw it. I practiced it through out the day, again, not an easy song. After a day of yard work and tasks involving the Girls with glasses show, it was nearing 5pm, the sun was setting. Once you lose day light, the show is over. But after calming the Loo, recharging a dead phone battery, and forgetting the chords, a las, my third attempt was denied. 

Then it came to me this morning, Poor little Fool, a song that was written by a fifteen year old girl, intended for Elvis to sing, but then was recorded and made a hit by Ricky Nelson in 1958. It was a song from my childhood. My dad had an ovation guitar with heavy strings. I remember he would play "grandmas feather bed" by John Denver, and "Poor little fool" by Ricky Nelson, as we would sit around him in our jammies right before bed, and he would sing to us. It is one of my happiest memories, and one of my first favorite songs. So this morning, before I could even make the bed, I grabbed the Loo in her jammies and my guitar, put the Capo on the fifth fret and played this happy little ditty (but actually kinda sad) for my own little one. 

So, to carry on the tradition of Brad the dad, I give to you "Poor little fool"

25 comments:

  1. Hi Brooke! I just wanted to send some encouragement your way. I know what it feels like to never feel like you can catch up. I think a lot of people do. All I wanted to say is that your voice brings so much joy to my day. So whenever you're ready and have time to share just know that I enjoy it. I love the video and I don't care that it's late and your bed isn't made. Just keep putting your music out there.

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  2. Better late than never, Brooke! We love you for your sincerity and everyone has imperfections, no need to be down on yourself over them! This was a great Music Monday as far as I am concerned. Have you been watching Idol?

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  3. Brooke. You beautiful soul, you. Every time I read here, it feels so true and sincere. So genuine. So real. This was beautiful. And didn't the struggles make today's success so much sweeter? Sometimes the hardest person to disappoint is yourself. I'm very guilty of similar situations, didn't post it Monday, feel so defeated that I finally got it up the next day, etc. (just with various little things) just remember that we love to hear your beautiful voice any day of the week, and it's okay to give yourself a day off for little deadlines like this. (My favorite thing is President Uchtforf's "forget not..." Five things talk. Every time I read it I remember to be a little more gentle with myself (so hard!) and others)

    Here's a virtual hug, beautiful lady. Xo

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  4. You and Little Loo will treasure this in the years to come.

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  5. The honesty of learning "just do what you can" has finally set in with me, & I no longer feel guilty about the things I can't accomplish because if I put my heart into everything else that I'm able to get done..I know I've done good! I will always strive to do more & better, but I will never again let life & busyness make me strive with myself! It's just too short to not enjoy it for what it is! Praying for you.

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  6. Don't worry and be so hard on yourself, there is a time for everything! We, the fans, are patient and understand. Being a mom and wife is a full time commitment and the greatest privilege and joy in the world!
    Your rendition of 'Poor Little Fool' is beautiful, as everything you do is. Appreciate that you are so real, genuine, humble, and organic.
    Would you sing a John Denver song sometime? I was a huge fan of his and met him several times, a truly nice man.I was President of one of his authorized fan(support)clubs.
    Thank you, Brooke! Susie Baldwin

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  7. I enjoyed this so much . . . high praise to you for sharing and to Brad the Dad for helping create some lasting memories!!

    Norm W

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  8. Brooke, your words are a rarity - open and honest while inspired all at the same time. Your humility shines through and your love for your family is just radiating. Thank you for sharing this with us - it's a beautiful journey to watch. Love you tremendously.

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  9. Brooke, I met you in September of 2008 in Green Bay, WI when you were on the American Idol Tour. I asked you to sign my book and told you I was LDS as well. We talked for a little bit and then you flipped open to your page in the book and wrote (in your beautiful handwriting, by the way) "Stay Strong, Girl." As a junior in high school, struggling to find out who I was and what I wanted to do with my life, you changed me. It may seem silly, but as I got home that night and read what you wrote, I thought to myself, "I want to be like her someday." I have always admired you, from your very first audition, to the night I met you, and still today. You radiate the pure love of Christ in all that you do. Your light and happiness inspire me to be better, even when I feel overwhelmed, behind, and completely frazzled. You are so genuine and I love reading your blog and seeing your pictures on Instagram. Keep on singing, smiling, and being you. London is so lucky to have you as her mom! Thank you for your example of humility, love, and awesomeness. Shower the people you love with love, and stay strong girl! :)

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  10. P.S. You are one of the most naturally beautiful people I have ever met.

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  11. It will only get worse as your family grows and your interests/business grows. But that is life and okay. Love your choice in song and presentation. I’m a Ricky Nelson fan. My favorites are "Travelin' Man","It's Up to You" and "Poor Little Fool".

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  12. I feel like you are taking words right out of my mouth so I had to comment. As I watched that sweet video I couldn't stop smiling :) My youngest of three is very close in age to little London and so watching her is always so sweet. Listen. Mommyhood is not easy- and when you add on all the other stuff it can be a little overwhelming! I've been there. I have a photography business and when it first started up I would promise pictures by "this day" but life (ahem, babies) would interrupt and I seemed to be always late. Add on top of that church obligations, my family blog that I have to keep up to date, the friends you have to be a friend to, your FAMILY and it just gets to be draining. The guilt!!! It's not like I was trying to be late, you know? You do what you can. Know that you are good enough- more than that actually. Maybe don't give yourself a deadline for this... some things don't need deadlines. No need for added stress in your life if you don't need it. With my photography, I started giving a window of time rather than a set "1 week" or "2 weeks". It made things a LOT less stressful. Then when I actually got it done early I would feel good, but if I was toward the end of the window at least I was still within it and I wouldn't feel so guilty. I think we would all love surprises for WHEN you can get something up during the week. Maybe you could call it "Surprise music day" or something. Maybe a more clever name ha ha. Hang in there- because your music touches so many people- on time or late :) (I must say though- I really hope that you do the cover for Close to You in the near future!)

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  13. You make me smile. Not much these days makes me smile. Thank you for that :-)

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  14. Love it! What a lucky little girl Miss Loo is! Love the song choice, reminds me of my own childhood listening to oldies with my dad. I wish I held the secret to being decisive, efficient and always on time. I'm a fantastic procrastinator unfortunately...

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  15. Brooke, i love you girl! Exactly as you are!
    The other day I had an aha! moment as I was writing down all my "brainstorming" ideas and goals for things I want to accomplish this year. I had a moment where it hit me...focus on being great at one thing, rather than good at many things. I'm not saying this is you also, I'm just saying that I know that feeling of being spread thin and feeling frustrated and disappointed in yourself because you know you could have done something better, or quicker, or craftier, or whatever. But we can't do it all--although, you're probably the person I know who get's as close to 100% awesome at all things as is humanly possible! At the end of the day, you are an example and an inspiration--the end. xoxo!

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  16. My goodness. You're amazing :) I totally get you on the tardy trait. And it gets that much worse with a little one! Lord help us. haha. Little Loo is lucky to have such an inspiring momma.

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  17. Love the song!!! And your sweet loo playing the drums :) just a comment from a fast efficient decisive person, I was never ever late anywhere then 3 years ago I had my amazing 1st son and when he was only 8 mos old I found out I was having another one! So now I have 2 spunky boys who are the loves of my life and I wouldn't change anything- buuuut I'm late EVERYWHERE! Like can't be on time to save my life, people even know now so we are meeting at 12:30 so ill get there at 12:45... I can never start early enough haha, but I wouldn't change it! I love my boys :) and there is something endearing about indecisive people anyway, they are always sweeter than us blunt decisive ones :)

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  18. Awesome! I love Music Monday! You make mondays so much better!

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  19. I LOVE this! Just reposted it over at my blog- http://goodmorningloretta.wordpress.com

    For real, I love this song.

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  20. Nice job on "Poor Little Fool." I didn't think I knew the song based on the title, but recognized it once you started singing thanks to the many years I listened to CBS-FM, the local oldies station here in New York when I was growing up. That song was a welcome blast from the past, made even more enjoyable by London's cameo. And the word nerd in me loves the phrase "pumpkin giggles turned to pterodactyl screams." Keep up the great work, Brooke!

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  21. Oh how I love you singing this song!

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  22. Oh how I remember this song so well. Listening to you sing it pulled me directly back into my childhood home. My parents were big Ricky Nelson Fans! They probably still have this record somewhere....

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  23. Oh, my goodness! Could this be any cuter with little Loo keepin' beat with her little foot?! I wish someone would serenade me while I ate ;) This will be one she will play for her kids. Fantastic. Sometimes you just have to let it come when it comes.

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